Dream & Inspire
The first time I saw my post-baby body in a swimsuit, I was mortified. I knew after seeing those pictures, I would NOT be posting them on any type of social media and they would just stay tucked away in my phone until...forever (at least for now!). I actually really wanted to post the pictures because it was such a happy time, but I personally couldn't live with that photo being out there for judgement. Being pretty fit, and quite honestly feeling really great about my body before baby, had me thinking that it would be all good after having her. I'd seen "everyone" (a.k.a celebrities, influencers, etc.) snapback after like 2 months of having their babies, or showing their 2-day-postpartum pictures looking like they never had a child, so I thought it wouldn't be THAT hard because everyone else made it look SO easy. "I'll just start working out hardcore after my 6 week check up. I'll eat super healthy. I'll go back to being vegan like I was before getting pregnant. Breastfeeding will help me lose the weight." All of those things I said and thought...and damn, was I wrong. Seeing all the snapbacks made me completely fall back from doing something I loved...
So we weren't trying, but we weren't not trying, if you know what I mean. We had been kind of "winging it" since we got married in 2016, and I even went as far as taking the morning after pill after a time when I thought there was a chance of getting pregnant. That's how much I didn't want to get pregnant at the time. (Hey, we were going away to Vegas for a friend's birthday and I did NOT want to be pregnant in Vegas.) Married and still taking the morning after pill...I felt sort of ashamed for that, but not ashamed enough to NOT take it.