Friendships Can Be Situationships Too - Decode & Understand Your Status

Situationships are something you often hear about when people are discussing romantic relationship. It means to be in "situation" with no formal commitment, meaning you're jus kind of going with the flow. It's like you have an unofficial significant other, but if he/she were to start dating someone else, you can't really get mad because you two have no defined boundaries. Unfortunately, a lot of people are in friendship situationships as well. The same rules as above apply, but you're not in a romantic relationship: you're in a situation where someone is kind of your friend out of default of obligation and it's just sometimes really uncomfortable. Are you in a friendship situationship and you don't know it? After the break, decode and understand your status to see if you need to make some changes to your friendships.

1. You're in a situationship if: You feel obligated to invite he/she out when you're with a specific group of people. Look, group chats are life, but sometime they're a hindrance too. If you're hanging out with specific people in the chat, and someone from the chat isn't invited, it can definitely become awkward, especially if it's displayed on social media. Sometimes you have to invite certain people around in a group setting, even if you don't want to, because you don't want to cause drama. If you notice you're not wanting to invite the same person over and over because they bring your energy down or just don't mesh well with others, you may be in a friendship situationship. 

2. You're in a friendship situationship if...said friend is always only concerned about his/her feelings and is always only talking about themselves. We all have things going on in our lives and we need to vent about; however, if you find yourself just always on the receiving end of someone's conversation, you may be in a situationship. Friendships should be a give and take, and nothing is worse than someone just dumping all their stuff on you without even asking you how you’re doing.

 3. You're in a friendship situationship if...they only hit you up when they need/want something. Hanging out with your friends is a blast, but if they're only trying to connect with you when the parties are happening or they are in need of something you can give them, you may want to check your status. It's fine to want to celebrate with your friends or go to them for advice/resources, but if they only seem to come around the highs or with a hand out...you might need to check out.

4. You're in a friendship situationship if...boundaries are continuously crossed and said friend has a new "best friend" every few months/year. I've never subscribed to the "NO NEW FRIENDS" phrase because I always believe that you can build great bonds with people in any stage in life; however, if you are changing up friends every season, that's a cause for a red flag. Meeting new people is a great way to expand your network, but constantly switching friend groups due to a fall out or the crossing of boundaries is cause for concern. 

5. You're in a friendship situationship if...you just don't feel comfortable. Friendships should be safe-havens. We share some of our most intimate thoughts and feelings with our friends, but if you don't even feel comfortable expressing yourself to said friend, you may just be in a friendship of convenience. Check yourself as to why you don't feel comfortable and adjust/assess accordingly as to whether you should keep this friend or move on.